the heavy...

Go me.. two posts in two days! Thats a first 

my ritual blogger friends would be pleased :) 

But I thought I would discuss something that has been consuming my life...

Weight... Diet... Health.. YUCK YUCK YUCK  

It all started last november when I got strep throat 

the doctor put me on some steroids to help with the pain,  which made me BLOW UP! 

but at the time i didnt realize it was because of the medicine

plus the treats every single day sure factored in

Anyways...

My face, joints, stomach everything expanded I felt at that time a million pounds heavier then my usual weight, so i started becoming an exercise whore... 

every single day sometimes even twice a day

 well now i have gotten back to my normal weight and 

to my pleasure even lost a few extras but then i realized... 

I've become obsessed with being skinnier I am below what i have weighed for three years now, 

and its still not good enough for me so when will good be enough?? 

When will my skinny become too skinny??

Media, society, friends, everything impacts they way I view my body...

and i have now maintained my weight and i want more

I look at every single girl i pass and decide wether im heavier or skinnier then them..

I judge and evaluate every single person which is awfull but i admit it. 

I need to stop wanting more.. 

i will never have a victoria secret models body... thats unrealistic

I love food way to much!! 

So I've decided to not rely on the number the scale tells me, 

 

but they way i feel 

the way my mom tells me i look, because she is always honest 

and the way my boyfriend tells me i look, 

which is "if you get any skinnier i will not talk to you!" 

I love the way he keeps me in check... 

so anyways.. 

Love your body... Be free... Enjoy the person you are

Dont try to be something you arent or cant be

Life is way too short to be starving